Exercising When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan: Navigating Grief and Fitness
Exercising When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan: Navigating Grief and Fitness
Life doesn’t always follow the path we expect, and sometimes we’re faced with challenges that shake us to our core. Recently, I experienced the heartbreaking loss of my mother-in-law, a loss that has left me feeling both emotionally and physically drained. As a personal trainer and fitness instructor, I’ve always believed in the power of exercise to uplift and strengthen us, but in times of grief, even I have struggled to find the motivation to move.
If you’ve ever gone through a tough time—a bereavement, illness, or another personal crisis—you probably know how hard it can be to stick to any kind of routine. It’s easy to feel like working out is the last thing on your mind. But here’s what I’ve learned in this difficult period the same as when I lost my Mum, Dad, brother & father in law: exercise doesn’t have to be about maintaining peak performance, pushing limits, or achieving new personal bests. Sometimes, it’s simply about taking care of yourself, one small step at a time.
Why Exercise During Grief?
When you're grieving or facing hardship, exercise can feel like an impossible task. However, even gentle movement can help in profound ways:
1. Emotional Release:
Grief brings with it a heavy burden of emotion, and exercise offers a way to release some of that tension. Whether it's a slow walk or a more intense workout, moving your body allows you to channel some of the overwhelming feelings in a productive way.
2. Physical Health:
While your heart and mind may be consumed with sadness, taking care of your physical health is more important than ever. Even gentle exercise helps to keep your body in balance, supporting your immune system and combating the physical effects of stress.
3. Routine and Normality:
During times of loss, life can feel chaotic and uncertain. A fitness routine, even a scaled-back one, can provide a sense of structure and stability when everything else seems out of control.
4. Mental Health:
Exercise is well-known for its positive impact on mental health. It releases endorphins, the "feel-good" hormones, which can help alleviate the emotional heaviness that often accompanies grief.
Adjusting Expectations
The key to exercising during tough times is to adjust your expectations. You may not feel like doing your regular high-intensity workout, and that’s okay. Some days, even getting out of bed may feel like an accomplishment. Here are a few tips for staying active when life doesn’t go as planned:
1. Be Kind to Yourself:
This is not the time to beat yourself up for skipping a workout or not hitting a certain goal. Be gentle with yourself and remember that doing something, no matter how small, is better than doing nothing.
2. Lower the Intensity:
If a hard workout feels too much, focus on gentler forms of exercise like walking, yoga, or stretching. These can still give you the benefits of movement without draining your already-limited emotional energy.
3. Exercise in Short Bursts:
If committing to a full 45-minute session feels overwhelming, break it into smaller chunks. Even 10 minutes of movement can make a big difference in how you feel.
4. Find Comfort in Routine:
While you may not feel like jumping into your regular routine, try to maintain some level of consistency. Maybe it's showing up for your workout at a slower pace or simply setting aside the same time each day for some form of movement.
5. Honour Your Emotions:
Sometimes, your body will tell you that it needs rest, and that’s perfectly fine. There’s a balance between pushing yourself to stay active and knowing when you need to rest and recharge. Listen to what your body and emotions are telling you.
How I’m Coping Through Movement
For me, exercising during this period of loss has become more about the mental space it gives me than the physical results.
Some days, it’s simply going for a quiet walk with Ted and reflecting on memories of my mother-in-law. Other days, I find solace in a slow mindful stretching practice that allows me to be present and gentle with my emotions. There has even been days when I haven’t exercised at all, and I remind myself that this, too, is part of the healing process.
Reconnecting with the Power of Community
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned through this period is that I don’t have to go through it alone. In my fitness classes, I always emphasise the importance of community, and now, more than ever, I’ve seen the value of that support firsthand. When life is tough, being surrounded by people who lift you up—whether it’s in a fitness class, at home, or in another aspect of life—makes all the difference. I know I’ve took a 2 week break to get the energy and motivation I need to teach a great class and know that I won’t just get over it like that but will be in a better mindset to give you my best!
If you’re going through a difficult time and feeling like exercise is too much, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and give yourself the grace to move at your own pace.
In Summary
Grief and hardship affect every part of our lives, including how we approach fitness. While it can be tempting to abandon our routines when things don’t go to plan, even small moments of movement can help us navigate the emotional waves of loss. Whether it’s for physical health, emotional release, or just to add a bit of structure to your day, remember that exercise can be a source of healing. And if you need to slow down, that’s okay too. Be kind to yourself as you find your way through, and know that when you’re ready, moving your body will always be there to support you.
